Peet Brits

Hmm, but that doesn't make any sense…

Posts Tagged ‘love’

Before Living Our Talents We Need Love

Posted by Peet Brits on April 26, 2011

In my previous post I introduced the concept of focusing on your talents to live a strength-based life. There is, however, a much deeper psychological need in every human being, and that is the need to feel loved. When the need is met you can move out and meet your potential. If unmet, we simply struggle to survive. [1]

When I say “love” I’m not simply talking about the love from a dating relationship. In our culture love has sadly become a synonym for sex or relationships. Limiting love to such formal parameters really robs us of great experiences. We fall in the trap where we keep searching and wishing for such relationship, and when we blindly jump to fulfil it it quickly turns sour because we entered with the wrong intentions.

That, however, is not the point I am trying to make. The point is to get closer to the true meaning of love, and prevent the paralysed effect of feeling unloved.

Love Languages

Let’s look at love from a different angle. The author Gary Chapman introduced the world to the five love languages, and according to him, these languages are the way in which we prefer to express and receive love. The five categories are Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. You can discover yours from this quiz: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/love/

A single person might quickly point out that this will not help you much until you are in a dating relationship. Well, actually we are already in many relationships where we can begin to practice the concepts. Relationships include, among other, parents, family, friends, and even people at work. For example, take Words of Affirmation. Tell your parents you love them. Tell your colleagues that you appreciate it when they do a good job or help you out. Don’t just assume they know you appreciate it. Give them feedback and let them know how their effort helped.

Reference

[1] Five Love Languages for Singles, Gary Chapman

Posted in Art of Living | Tagged: , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Does true love exists?

Posted by Peet Brits on May 25, 2010

Or to rephrase the question, is it possible to fall in love and stay together with the same person your entire life? Even if this love is your first love?

The mushy short-term loving feeling is to pull people together, and once they are together they need to commit to make it work.

My grandfather died a few weeks ago. I was always amazed when I looked at my grandparent’s marriage. They were always together, worked hard to maintain the house, and always did everything as a team. Yes they argued a lot because they got frustrated with each other, but even then it was as if they knew that, no matter what, they were always better off together.

This mindset that life is hard and you have to make it work, no matter what, is something that died away a few generations back. We no longer know the meaning of commitment. We no longer know the meaning of family. Life has become too easy and too comforting. We sit lazily on the couch and watch TV. We quit our job and get a new one. People enter relationships only to have fun, kiss and have sex, and when things get rough, they quit and get a new one. Etc. etc. etc.

And yes, all people are not like this, but this has definitely become the trend. My point is not that true love does not exists any more, but that our modern society has suffocated it.

Posted in Art of Living | Tagged: , , , , | 3 Comments »