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Posts Tagged ‘love languages’

Before Living Our Talents We Need Love

Posted by Peet Brits on April 26, 2011

In my previous post I introduced the concept of focusing on your talents to live a strength-based life. There is, however, a much deeper psychological need in every human being, and that is the need to feel loved. When the need is met you can move out and meet your potential. If unmet, we simply struggle to survive. [1]

When I say “love” I’m not simply talking about the love from a dating relationship. In our culture love has sadly become a synonym for sex or relationships. Limiting love to such formal parameters really robs us of great experiences. We fall in the trap where we keep searching and wishing for such relationship, and when we blindly jump to fulfil it it quickly turns sour because we entered with the wrong intentions.

That, however, is not the point I am trying to make. The point is to get closer to the true meaning of love, and prevent the paralysed effect of feeling unloved.

Love Languages

Let’s look at love from a different angle. The author Gary Chapman introduced the world to the five love languages, and according to him, these languages are the way in which we prefer to express and receive love. The five categories are Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. You can discover yours from this quiz:

A single person might quickly point out that this will not help you much until you are in a dating relationship. Well, actually we are already in many relationships where we can begin to practice the concepts. Relationships include, among other, parents, family, friends, and even people at work. For example, take Words of Affirmation. Tell your parents you love them. Tell your colleagues that you appreciate it when they do a good job or help you out. Don’t just assume they know you appreciate it. Give them feedback and let them know how their effort helped.


[1] Five Love Languages for Singles, Gary Chapman


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